you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
