I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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