You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize