Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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