I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
