i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
