remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize