i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
