ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Fuck appropriateness.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
