dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
