did you get engaged???
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
