I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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