her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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