I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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