I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
