I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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