Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
