After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
