toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Your penis caused this!
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