So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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