Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
