He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
