I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
