For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
