Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
