What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
