weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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