what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
