my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize