I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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