3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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