last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
