just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
