:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
