He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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