we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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