either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
