what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize