I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
