Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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