oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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