don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize