she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
