my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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