He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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