Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
