so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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