what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
