Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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