I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
