yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
