Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
