Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I love black thongs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Text me some of your sweat
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