i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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