hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
