he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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