Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
