We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
