He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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