I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this will be a night to untag.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
