Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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