party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize