This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
