someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
