watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I came so hard my ears popped.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
