we're blogging at a bar
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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