PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize