problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
