Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
