Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
