What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
